I often (maybe too often) use the phrase "Yes, well in an ideal world..."
And following the big move into our new house last week, and taking some time to reflect upon the huge cornucopia of life events that have been thrown our way over the past few years, I found myself mentally listing scenarios which, had the world been "an ideal world", would infact make life oh so much easier and/or enjoyable... The things that are maybe a little bit suboptimal that a magic wand would be lovely to wave at! So I figured "if I've thunk it, I may as well blog it!" So here it is. My list of how things would be in an ideal world:
In an ideal world....
- Kids wouldn't be struck down by illness. Ever. And at the very least, if they did, they wouldn't be messy in the way they go about it... In the past 48 hours I've done four bedsheet rotations (including my own) after puke expolsions and have disinfected poop off my kitchen floor whilst my eldest has a virus
- Instead of having random tantrums, toddlers would just sporadically and publically do something very endearing... like a little tap-dance... or sweetly sing a cute song. And instead of people standing watching you in pity like they do at tantrums, they'd form a circle around the child and give them a huge round of applause!
- A money tree would be flourishing in our back garden
- When it comes to the overwhelmingly single aspect of single motherhood, I have just 3 words... "More Sexy Time!"
- Kids would be absolutely captivated by watching mummy's favourite TV shows. "Oh GOODIE!" the 2 year old would cry! "I've been DYING to watch the new episode of Q.I. Mama!"
- Babies would come fitted with stylish septic tanks that require emptying once a year, rather than needing up to 10 nappy changes a day...
- It would only take 5 minutes to get the whole family to leave the house... and of course, on the days you positively HAVE to be somewhere, it takes an even shorter amount of time!
- Cars do not get sick. And when they do, mechanic's accept payment in the form of limericks instead of cash!
- Houses would be self-cleaning (no explanation necessary)
- Robots would stylishly dress everybody and do our hair etc. (particularly MY hair and makeup) every morning before we left the house...
- Days in general would be longer, and the time it takes to do stuff shorter.
- Mummies would get 10 hours straight sleep a night
- Kids would find the idea of pulling tupperware out of cupboards hideous, and avoid doing so at all costs!
- Everything I need to learn to finish my degree, I could absorb in my sleep!
- Kids shoes would be adjustable, to keep up with their alarming foot growth.
- Or better yet, things like gravel would be soft - so we don't even have to wear shoes - EVER! :D
.... and of course, many many more - you get the drift...
So... tell me... what things would your ideal world entail??
Peace out x