"Sorry" for this post... ;)

I "apologise" in advance for this post (hahaha! That's a pun... as you'll soon see!)... For those of you who know me well, you'll notice I say "sorry"... A lot. Sometimes because I am genuinely sorry... But often, so often, I am more than not likely actually sorry, but feel the need to say so... It's a compulsion. I apologise profusely for near enough anything...

My amazing life coach last year was the first person in an age to bluntly and honestly point out that I am a serial apologist... And drew my attention that, when I am apologising, I'm focusing on negative actions and sending myself a message that I, or what I have to say, or both, is not "good enough" and thus I feel the need to apologise.

But I apologise far too much... And you know what I noticed today? My son is starting to follow suit. He's apologising when he bumps inanimate objects... He says sorry on my behalf at times... Whilst it's sweet, and polite, I don't want his self-worth and esteem to be affected by a compulsion to apologise. I want him (and my daughter) to both grow up feeling confident in saying what they mean, and meaning what they say...

Sooooo (and I'll confess, I am not confident in how successful I will be, but....) I have decided to pose myself a challenge. I am not going to apologise for the next month. Unless I do something which genuinely and honestly requires an apology, I am not going to say "sorry"... If I ask a question, I'm not going to be "sorry to bother you..." If I say something somewhat bold or brassy, I'll say it with conviction, not cower into an apology afterwards - that completely deflates the effect of the statement being made. I'm not going to say sorry for changing my mind, or for my children's actions, or anyone elses' for that matter... For the next 30 days, I am going to NOT utter another non-genuine apology for anything or anyone...

Because the classic "lead by example" - I don't want my kids apeing my mannerisms to the extent that I do myself... If I had some sort of magic pedometer style counting device, that ticked over every time I said sorry in a day - the numbers would be staggering...

I think the only way to live authentically happy is to pay a bit more attention to the overuse of this phrase... I'm not sorry for the way I'm living, the thoughts I'm thinking, how I'm choosing to spend my time, what feelings or emotions I am experiencing, or what I have to say...

So (sorry... haha!) but this is the last apology without substance you'll be getting from me... Wish me luck... I hope to come out a better person for it on the other side :)

As always - peace out xx