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Thursday 25 August 2011

"Anthea Turner" I am not... (most definitely NOT)


For those of you who don't know, the concept of being "Not So Suzy" sprung from the fact that I'm no perfect housewife (or house mother, seeing as I'm noone's "wife") - a play on words of the term "Suzy Homemaker". I'm genuinely and honestly no good at being on top of things. I have days where I work really hard to get ahead (normally making three times the mess by dragging it all out in the process) and yet always seem to be plateaued at a certain state of clutter - where I know where everything is, but it's definitely not organised.

The picture featured in this post is my living room floor last week, when I was trying to sort out the kids toys! :S This was an exceptionally messy week... but from this extreme to the "normal" extreme, there isn't a great deal of difference... just all the toys are put away. The vacuum cleaner is still always lumped somewhere in the living room. The telephone is always "somewhere.... but I'll have to ring it to find it"! There is always a small pile of "kids clothes they've just taken off", "kids clothes they'll soon be putting on", "kids clothes that I'm not quite sure if they've worn these yet or not, so I spose I'd better wash them again just incase"... And at the end of the day there's always a pair of jeans and undies on my toilet floor - because at the end of the day, when the kids are at last in bed, I finally have a chance to pee (after most likely holding onto it for a few hours) and out of habit I just take them off in there and go directly from the loo to the shower, shower to the bedroom, and put my PJ's on!

I'll be moving house soon, to a much smaller home, and with downgrading home comes time for a clear out. And just thinking about the work that will need to be done in order to move makes my brain weep... There is so much stuff, and so little time with children around to get it all done. Coupled with my brilliant ability to procrastinate, I'm feeling like it's going to be an uphill battle.

You know it's time for change in your house when:

- You seriously consider hiding the dirty dishes in the cupboard quickly before someone comes over, rather than washing the sink full of crockery, cutlery, and endless baby bottles from earlier that day.

- Your children have enough clean clothes to last them about another month despite not doing laundry for a week.

- Your toddler starts mimicking your "bad habits" - like throwing his shoes in the general direction of the shoe pile that inhabits a corner of your lounge-room when he takes them off.

- When asked if you want to catch up for a cuppa, you reply "Sure! Let's go to that new cafe in town, I hear their coffee is GREAT!" rather than save yourself a tenner and have coffee and cake at home.

- You change your dinner plans because a certain pan or pot or implement required to make the meal you intended to make is in the dishes pile mentioned earlier, and you end up having eggs on toast instead.

- You find yourself very painstakingly and dedicatedly applying yourself to the tasks you DO like (sure - there's three piles of kids clothes to be washed in the laundry, but look how my bathroom GLEAMS with blinding cleanliness!) This is one form of procrastination I find myself falling into often...

- You just get completely overwhelmed and say "F*** it!", grab the kids and go out for the day instead.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not particularly lazy. If I was lazy my kids would be in dirty clothes, soggy nappies, have yucky grimy faces and hands, and be unable to walk across the lounge-room floor all together for all the toys and clothes and crap they own. I do detain the mess/clutter, it is organised clutter, and I do spend my day doing quick runs around the house inbetween catering to their basic needs ie. I feed them good food, I stimulate their minds, I give them lots of love and create variety in their day. Maybe my priorities are just slanted more towards giving them a good day than giving them a beautifully presented home.

However I'm prepared to set myself a challenge for going into the new home. At the new house I intend, every week, to invite a friend (or friends) over to my house, for coffee, lunch, dinner, whathaveyou, or even invite people to feel free to just "drop in on us" (exception being of course during the "Cactus Hour" I posted about earlier this week - do so at your own risk at that time, and if you do, no apologies on our behalf for our nakedness or chicken-stuffed noses).

The reason I propose to do this is because the only time I have been able to really keep the house nice and clean has been when it's been out of sheer fear of being judged and mortifyingly embarrassed. For example, when a special friend from out of town is coming to stay, or my very neat sister is holidaying with us, or I have a house inspection, or other kids are going to come over to play. Whilst with some friends, such as my nearest and dearest bestie, I know I can "get away with it", there are some people I would just go hide under a pile of laundry and pretend I wasn't home if they came over to visit...

So feel free, in 3 months time, to come knocking on my door - clutching a copy of this blog entry printed out in your hot little hand - and gleefully tell me "I believe you asked for this!" And by all means feel free to chastise me if you can't see the living room floor, or if I have to wash a mug before offering you a cup of tea!

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