"Slightly Suzy"...

Wow... Over a year has past. Suzy's growing up! Whoever would have thought I'd have maintained dedication and interest for this long? Let alone continue to find the time to blog... That in itself must say something... I do love writing my blog, sharing my thoughts and stories and opinions. And I appreciate I still have a receptive audience. So thank you, followers new and old, whom are cheering Suzy on! :)

I feel like I almost need to do myself a "report card"... To demonstrate how things have progressed over the last 12 months. We've endured quite a cornucopia of lifely delights over the past 12 months. If I did write myself a report card? I'd probably give myself an A+ for effort, and a B+ for results :)

We've moved house TWICE... We've celebrated both girl child's and boy child's birthdays, adding a chapter to their "Rainbow Bridge" stories... Not to mention I made the epic achievement of turning "my favourite number" this year... I personally have come in leaps and bounds when it comes to self-enlightenment, learning lessons in granting myself permission to do more for myself. I've fed my little heirachy of needs that dear old Maslow made understandable for me... I had a stab at dating again finally, after having the babies (some outcomes fantastic, some.... not so much!)  and - after sorting a new job, a new path of study, new hobbies, etc. I've finally got myself into a position where I feel like I have a gorgeous sense of balance and self-fulfillment. \

All in all - I feel like "Suzy" has come a long way... So much so even I'd go so far as to say I have outdone my official title of "Not So Suzy" and could potentially adopt the new moniker of "Somewhat Suzy" :) I have a far better grip on things these days. The house is of course still chaotic at times, however in comparison to where we began 12-odd months ago, I'm content with my home. It feels like home... Nowhere in a LONG time has felt like "home". I'm more than happy with my job, my plans to study, my long-term ambitions and desires, and - most importantly - I feel as though I've mastered the art of truly living with integrity! (She says that word a lot, doesn't she??)

Finally I can look at myself as a whole person and say:

"I live in such a way that my actions are congruent to my values, attitudes and beliefs".

I'm doing what I love. What I enjoy. I love my babies, and the little people they have become... They're beautiful, lovely children which - previously - I always thought was "luck of the draw"... Whereas now I realise... My children are a testament to myself. I can be a very proud mummy for the children I have... given especially that SO much of the way they are is because of the influence I have on them as a mother. How special does that make me feel? Indescribably special... And immeasurably proud.

So where does Suzy go from here? Ahhh if I told you THAT, you'd have nothing to look forward to in future posts... All I can say is:

- Do have baited breath...
- Do look forward to the AMAZING happenings that will be going on between now and Suzy's next "birthday'...
- Do expect a tonne more lessons to be learnt, and
- Do expect the unexpected...

:)

Until next time... help yourself to a generous finger of frosting off my cake :)

Suzy xxx

"Rabbits"...

For over a decade in my social circle, we've often referred to our children as "rabbits"... Rabbits have big ears... They are good for listening with...

A status my friend posted this morning (on F***book) reminded me of the susceptibility our children have to picking up on the language we, television, society, etc. uses and taking it upon themselves to practice exercising it's usage.

The development of a child's language and vocabulary essentially develops through mimicking and repetitive behaviours. As I discussed in my Father's Day inspired post last year, babies brains are wired to have increased frontal and temporal lobe activity recordings when adjacent repetitive sounds are heard - hence why we probably do the whole "dum-dum", "bot-bot", "bub-bub-bub" stuff when they're really little... This is on a very basic and obvious level...

But then that got me thinking. What about, as they get older, and their ability to mimick and repeat increases, their language develops more strongly... what about the more "detailed" forms of repetitiveness they are exposed to. For example, the repetitiveness of the attitudes, and values, and opinions their little rabbit ears are listening to.

A prime example. Mother hears a piece of juicy gossip. Mother's on the phone to friend one, giving her the goss whilst the kids are sat on the floor playing happily... Later that they, mother runs into friend two at the shops... The story is relayed on to that friend, also... Over dinner that night, Mother divulges all the details to friend three whilst the kids throw their fish fingers at each other... In this kind of a scenario, the kids have been exposed to the same basic principles of language development, but on a higher level. They've heard a "story" in a repeated fashion, possibly enough times that a certain level of retention of that tale, and furthermore the potential to repeat the accounts verbally themselves...

More importantly, the same goes for the words we choose to direct AT our children in a repetitive fashion... Personally, I've always stuck to the pacts I made to myself to never name-call, shout, put-down or disparage... And nothing pains me more than hearing another parent do the opposite with their own... I always feel sorry to hear a child being put-down. Even if the parent thinks it's relatively harmless...

Of course when you walk into a room to find your son has smashed your favourite vase, somewhere in your brain lurks an intention to scoff a remark like "You STUPID boy!"... But tell your son he's stupid enough times, he's going to retain that vocabulary and use it not only to label himself, but also others... Jokingly remark that your kids are being "insane", "nutcases", "ferals" and the like and they'll form their own neurological bridges to those adjectives, too... Even something as little as saying one sibling is annoying the other sibling... Verbalise that, and the siblings will take it upon themselves to learn to say the same about each other...

Basically what I am saying is - those little human beings we are given are OH so precious and OH so receptive to what's being said around them... I know even myself could do with a greater sense of awareness when it comes to such... My babies are growing up. They're not completely oblivious to the words they hear around them anymore. 

I'm proud, however, that the words they DO hear MOST often around here are along the lines of "I love you... with all my heart"... "Thank you for what you just did"... and "I'm proud of you for that"... And such is also reflected in my children. They didn't become polite, well-spoken little individuals on their own accord... However I do promise myself I'll be making a more contentious effort to respect the fact that there are "rabbits" in the room before I blast off on the phone or gossip over coffee in future... 

Until next time - peace, love and bacon for breakfast :)

Suzy xxxa 

The scales are finally settling :)

Happy Days, Not So Suzy-Enthusiasts!!!

For the first time in a while I'm writing a post that isn't ranty or negative... :)

SO a LOT has been going on in the Suzy-household... I've started a new part-time job, 3 days a week... In a field that I LOVE, doing work I thoroughly enjoy, with a fantastic small team of people... The kids are enjoying their daycare immensely... The financial benefits go without saying... and I've finally allowed myself something I hadn't been doing since the arrival of my babies... Giving myself PERMISSION (remember the immense issues I had with permission a fair while back?? And that was all over having "a" beer...??) to do more for ME.... On a fitness level (I'm back into hockey again, and loving it) and on a social level (I'm playing poker regularly... and meeting some fantastic people, having great nights along the way...) Not to mention I've also allowed myself permission to seek afterhours care outwith family members, in order to allow myself to have this "me" time...  Even better is the fact that my social interaction is becoming increasingly more about actual "in person" socialising, rather than relying on platforms like F***book to fulfil my social-driven needs... I feel like I have "A LIFE" again!

All in all, I think Mr.Maslow would be rather proud of me right now... I have attained the long-coveted "balancing act" I thought for so long would be IMPOSSIBLE being a mother to two young babies... I feel like the entirety of my heirachy of "needs" is being met... and thus I'm feeling immensely fulfilled and happy with the way things are running...

Of course I don't want to get ahead of myself... Needs and their being met are very fluid concepts... one small change and "Bam!" you can drop a few tiers on the needs pyramid... But I just like that for probably for the first time since having the babies, I'm in "this" place, a place I thought would be near impossible to get to... Such a contrast to not too long ago, where everything felt too unbalanced and there was too much stress, and drama... And that in itself is DEFINITELY worth CELEBRATING!!! :)

I think as well it makes me feel proud of myself. That I got here basically on my own, making my own choices, using my own self-determination, choosing only to be in situations which match my integrity and values. It shown me that attaining the balance actually CAN be done...

Now if only I could kick it up a notch on the "keeping on top of housework" debarcle (I've actually been REALLY good over the past couple of months, though still occasionally have days where it slides...!) I think I could become an "Oh so Suzy" instead of a "Not so Suzy" :) (I did buy a new mop today... if that counts!!)

Until next time - Heiwa-gai!!!!!!! :)  x