OK sooooo... I know I already posted something tonight... BUT... another discussion I just had with some folks over on another platform had me thinking about another blog post I've been meaning to write. So here goes!
Whilst the meaning behind "Not So Suzy" name-wise is the whole "I'm not so great at being Suzy Homemaker" concept - it doesn't necessarily reflect my beliefs, nor attitudes, towards house-life, roles, etc.
We were just flogging it out between us as to whether men or women should do the cooking/housework...
Now this may come as a surprise, particularly as I have expressed before how I struggle to keep on top of things - but - I actually prefer the whole traditional gender-role dynamic in a relationship. I think the only reason I struggle with it at present is because EVERYTHING is left up to me... However... when it comes down to the nitty gritty in a relationship, I prefer to do the "woman" stuff and the male to do the "man" stuff...
I have a few ideas as to why this may be. And it's not limited just to chores and duties, either. It's inclusive of my attitudes towards the type of dynamic I prefer in a relationship overall. I prefer the man to be the one who "wears the pants" so to speak... I like a guy that has the guts to put his foot down to me... I like a guy who likes to be in "charge"... My reasoning/logic behind this being that, because for soooooo long (after leaving home at a young age) and especially amplified since having the kids, I've HAD to be the one who does everything. Not to mention that certain relationships I had to "drive" them - I had to mother the overly-sensitive, "softer" types and "look after them" whilst being in charge of every single state of affairs to do with our home/social/financial lives...
So for me, I think, having a traditional dynamic in a relationship allows me to scooch over to the passenger seat for a while. It means I can let someone else take the wheel, put on the brakes when necessary, rather than forcing me to drive and, no doubt, end up running us into a ditch out of sheer frustration or boredom!
Now don't get me wrong - I don't imply that EVERYONE should be like this, or share a similar attitude. I just say "this is what I prefer and what works for ME"... (However it should be noted that in SOME cases, there was too much of an imbalance, but that's for "another time"! LOL)
What I dislike immmmmmmensely is when a woman might not share the same opinion, and then try to tell ME that I am "less of a woman" for wanting a dynamic as such... When I'm here saying "I'm all for whatever floats your boat, as far as dynamics are concerned, but for me this is my preference..." I'm not telling them it's wrong if they don't want to be as "traditional" as I might like... I'm not saying people who do the "50/50 equality" thing are wrong either... Noone is WRONG. The whole point of a successful relationship is being in one which the dynamic suits both parties and is how they prefer it to be... If I was a "lazy bitch who likes to be waited on hand and foot by a pussy-whipped milk-fed gimp" someone would probably have negative views on THAT too... It's almost as if you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't, CHOOSE to seek the dynamic YOU want...
I don't bitch on the way anyone else prefers THEIR relationships run, or their dynamic preferences. I say "Live and Let Live" and hope that I find happiness in the dynamic I choose myself one day.
Until next time - dinner's on the table and your work clothes are hanging behind the bedroom door!!! :P
Suzy xx
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